'I'm only three days old and I already need a haircut.'
"I refuse to go to the same place that dad goes to. According to mum, his barber never cuts his bangs right.'
'I still can't believe Chris Iwelumo missed that sitter.'
'This green and white hat will do until I get my Glasgow Celtic bunnet from Uncle Graham.'
'Go figure. Turns out I share the same birthday as this well-known Eugene and, therefore, people will assume that I was named after him but I was actually named after that lesser-known Eugene. Don't ask me why. I understand that it's an Indiana/Socialist thing.'
'PS - You didn't ask for a speech, but I'm giving one anyway.
'Thank you to Auntie Anne for taking the pics. You've really captured my best side. I'm sure I will work with you again.
'Thanks for all comments in the post below. Really appreciated . . . even if you do all come across as a bunch of scruffs with varying tastes in music, politics and football . . . Dad, did you write this speech?
' I'm off to investigate wordpress - blogger's so 2005 - and then I have plans to disrupt the sleeping patterns of a certain twosome I know for the next couple of years.'