Thursday, November 14, 2019
Tuesday, November 12, 2019
“A few members of the staff now believe that the constant reign of terror to your anatomy is causing a building up of resistance by your body. Not that you are immune to damage but that your body has somehow said, ‘What the hell, I can take anything.’ Your skull no longer deserves the anatomical right to be referred to as a skull. We are not quite sure what to call it.”
I tried to sit up and made it to one elbow. I was in a hospital gown.
“The closest thing I have seen to what we are laughingly calling your cranium belonged to a punch-drunk fighter named Ramirez who, when his career was finished, made an occasional fifty cents by battering down doors with his head. Mr. Ramirez was incapable of coherent speech by that time and seemed to think he was a robot. Are you following the allegorical level of my tale, Mr. Peters?”
“If I continue to get hit in the head, my brain will turn to Junket pudding,” I said.
“Your brain is almost certainly pudding by now,” said Dr. Melanks. “I simply want you to sign it over to me on your death. I am sixty-seven and suffering from arthritis, a weak heart, mild sclerosis, and a very poor hereditary profile, but I should outlive you by a comfortable margin.”
Saturday, November 09, 2019
Friday, November 08, 2019
Thursday, November 07, 2019
Tuesday, November 05, 2019
Friday, October 25, 2019
Thursday, October 24, 2019
FRIDAY, 6 MARCH
Online orders: 2
Orders found: 2
Nicky in. She has hijacked the shop’s Facebook page again and left this typically bewildering post:
Good morning everyone!BGC is Nicky’s current nickname for me, and stands for Big Ginger Conundrum. ‘Tube’, for the uninitiated, is a Scottish insult, the politest interpretation of it being ‘idiot’.”
With a song in my heart, I skip in to work only to be berated for buying books off a customer for £45, whereas the BGC would have paid £175. Happy customer, happy me, disgruntled tube, sorry, I meant to say ‘boss’.