"Hemel Hempstead is Hemel Hempstead"

Yep, that was a genuine piece of dialogue from a Play For Today. From 1976  . . . and it wasn't even using Hemel Hempstead as a punchline for a change. I guess there was never many laughs in Play For Today back in the day when you think about it. Though to direct any sort of criticism - however mild - at the PFT canon can result in a lynch mob turning up at your door.

Anyway, back to the darts. The Dart Bot still thinks it's peak Phil Taylor but I messed with its head by scoring a Round 9. It'll punish me repeatedly over the next few days.

*The Play For Today? Bernard Kops' Rocky Marciano Is Dead.

The Bitterest Pill (I Ever Had to Swallow)*

I don't make a habit of posting partial results and/or breakdown of a First to a 100 game, but I thought it was worthwhile this time to both illustrate my recent dip in form (with an added sprinkle of ongoing dartitis), and my (possible) recovery.

I'm still 5 points down in my '01 averages but I'm a bit more hopeful today than I was 3 or 4 days ago. I'll take it.

01-10 (3-7)

11-20 (0-10)

21-30 (1-9)

31-40 (1-9)

41-50 (4-6) 

51-60 (4-6)

61-70 (1-9)

71-80 (4-6)

81-90 (7-3)

91-100 (5-5) 

101-110 (7-3)

*Yes, I was listening to The Jam today whilst playing cricket. This brilliant compilation. 

Carry on with your woes

Missed about 4 or 5 180s before this one, The Dartitis is really playing up at the moment. 

Same situation every time: I hit the first two T20s and then my arm cannot release the third dart. I then jerk my arm in a semi-farcical fashion for about 30 seconds before I can eventually throw the dart. It usually lands low in either the 1 or the 5 bed. On this occasion it miraculously landed in the T20.

What with the League up and running, I can't swear off practicing but for the foreseeable future I'm just going to throw in the apartment. No playing - and losing - to the Dart App in the apartment. Just throw darts at the board to try and get some sort of rhythm back.

97/50

Play for Today: The Black Stuff (1980)

 

Reacher (2026)

 

55 - 100 "Well, that was fucking expected."

Opponent: Computer Level 9

Date Started: 31st August 2026

Date Finished: 17th September 2026

Two heavy defeats on the same day. 

Isn't misery supposed to come in threes? Oh, aye, Celtic got turned over by Ferencváros in the Europa League tonight. That'll be the third pint of misery. 

Duran gave an Oscar worthy performance as the invisible man. Hogh said "Tonight, Matthew, I will play Peter Withe, except no one will tell the referee and I'll get whistled for fouls every three minutes." Anything else? Yes, Arzani will return to Parkhead and score an absolute peach of a goal, putting the tie beyond Celtic. Arzani's the Iranian born Australian winger who spent two years on loan at Celtic and was only afforded the opportunity to make a name for himself in two fixtures over two years. That's right: two games. Marvin Compper made more of an impression at Parkhead.

Nice set up for Sunday's return fixture against R*ngers . . .  said no one ever.

The darts stats tell me all I need to know. Further confirmation that my averages are down, and that I'm going through a sustained dip. A 'dip' suggests that I'll recover my averages. Such things are never guaranteed. Especially if I don't put in place a training routine which would help improve my overall performance. It's all on me.

What I am going to do going forward is to stick with the One80 Rectifiers. I need a thinner dart right now, and that's the best of a bad lot. I'll see what happens.

37 - 100 "Well, that was fucking awful."

Opponent: Computer Level 9

Date Started: 21st July 2026

Date Finished: 17th September 2026

Serves me right. 

As I kept beating the Level 8 of the Russ Bray Dart App at cricket, I decided to take the step up to Level 9 for the usual marathon first-to-100 match. Within about 4 legs I realised that Level 9 thought it was Luke Littler on steroids, a Luke Littler on steroids with a sadistic streak. 

The sensible thing would have been to abandon the game and go back to Level 8. Sadly, I don't do sensible when it comes to darts. That meant two months of 'What the fuck?' as it hit Rounds of 6s, 7s, and 9s as I was scrambling to hit a single 18. I repeat: Level 9. For context, the Russ Bray App goes up to Level 20, which makes you wonder what sort of game that would be like. I wondered so much that I 'played' a single leg of cricket against Level 20. Here's the damage:

T20, T20, T19

T18, T17, S16

T16, S15, T15

S15, SB, DB

That's the Level 20's stats. My stats are lost to the ether.

Back to Level 8 for the cricket . . . back to my station in life (and darts).

I'm toying with myself

 Darts really does know how to mess with your head.

96/50

May to September

I hadn't hit a 180 in about a month so, for the hell of it, I switched up my darts. What do you know? I hit a 180 10-15 minutes later.

The problem is, I've been here before. And it wasn't that long ago. I'm not complaining. I really needed that 180 but I'm not reading too much into it.

95/50

MySpace no more . . . Twitter no more . . . Facebook no more

And now the end is near, and I didn't think it would be Lexulous that would be the tipping point. So it goes.

Proclaimers, Sinatra and Vonnegut. I'll take it.

A nice word for the final lap.