Sunday, January 01, 2006

A Taxi for Mr McLeish and Mr Rix please.

Ken Stott, Kenny Beveridge, Ronnie Corbett, Walter Scott, Alan Johnstone . . . are you listening? Your boys took a helluva beating today.

Those 2006 New Year Resolutions In Full

  • - Exercise more. Walking to the local Pizzeria doesn't actually suffice as a fitness regime.
  • - Read more fiction (recommendations please), rather than studying my sitemeter. (Which is in many ways a fiction of sorts.)
  • - Not be so cynical when watching Oprah with Kara.
  • - Learn how to make Cornish Pasties. I miss them, and the Cornish Pasty Industry misses me. Profits were down 17% this last financial year as a consequence of my moving to America, and I understand that my name is mud in certain rural parts of the West Country.
  • - Trying not to laugh out loud when spotting hipsters in New York. Of course, leg warmers are coming back in fashion.
  • Get excited about important stuff in real life, rather than nearly fainting with giddiness, like I did a few months back, when encountering two Sparts outside Brooklyn College.
  • - Finish that Dave Eggers book: Firstly, because it is witty, insightful and life affirming. Secondly, because otherwise Kara will beat me to death with aforementioned paperback if I don't. (What could be more "life affirming"?)
  • - Stop using wikipedia as a quick link in blog posts, without first reading what the actual wikipedia entry says. (See previous resolution.)
  • - Stop saying: "That show actually originated in Britain." Firstly, because it can ge grating to the listener when they hear it for the four hundredth time; and, secondly, because the show is invariably crap - see here for more details. It doesn't put British TV in the best possible light.
  • - Actually submit a book review to the Socialist Standard. (That noise you can hear in the background is not a tree failing in a deserted forest, but the collective jaws of the Socialist Standard Editorial Committee falling on the floor.)
  • - Learn Spanish so I can properly enjoy Channel 974 on the TV. I think I'm missing out.
  • - Stop being so cheesy. I sound like a James Blunt record at times, and that is not a nice thing to say about oneself. This can be cured with my ongoing rediscovery of the genius that is Luke Haines. The bloke makes Cathal Coughlan sound like a goodwill ambassador for UNICEF.
  • - Ensure that I'm properly stocked with the essentials for the event of this coming year.
  • - Oh, aye, and do my bit to smash global capitalism. (I'm contractually obliged to tag that one on at the end of my resolutions list.)