Erm - its a work in progress. All will be revealed.
Though off the top off my head it could a charcoal drawing of Jim Jeffries looking through a long range photo lens and mumbling to himself: "So that's what the top half of the SPL looks like."
It's worse than that, RC. It's actually a half decent joke from me for a change - I don't usually laugh at my own jokes - and I've wasted it on the manager of Kilmarnock. Damn.
It's probably factually wrong - I'm expecting somebody to pop and, putting on the John Motson voice, intone: "In fact, you will find that Kilmarnock finished in the top half of the Scottish Premier League very recently."
It may be a long wait, Will. Wrote a long screed to accompany the picture and what happened, the PC froze on me - losing the post. So that was cheerful. I may try and salvage something in the next day or to, and I'll undoubtedly recycle the jokes in the missing post (I'd do that anyway, blog or not), but it was a bit of a pisser.
For the culture vultures, the image is by Ken Currie who done the excellent working class histroy murals for the People's Palace in Glasgow all those years ago. The title of the lost message was originally going to be: 'Desperately Seeking Inspiration For the Next Post', but it has since been amended, and the motion now reads 'Desperately Seeking the Lost Post.'
And there was you thinking I was still laughing at my excellent joke above - I am by the way. That wasn't bad for me.
"If it is Ken Currie then the setting must be Govan Shipyard and yet there is not one roll up hanging from one single lip. Socialist Realism or what?"
A joke so good it had to be wrote twice ;-)
I understand that Currie was a member of the CP (that would be the Communist Party rather than the Correctve Party, though I can understand people maybe being confused 'cos they both shared a penchant for authoritarianism and indulged in a sado-masochistic relationship between the leadership and the rank n' file) in the eighties and perhaps in keeping with that Party - and 'socialist realism' - he wanted to depict the CP's fictionalised version of the working class wearing the old rose tinted specs.
I'm tempted to say 'ask Will', but a Mackem/Makem is someone from the Wear area of the North East. For some reason, Geordies seem to overreact if they are mistakenly referred to as a Mackem/Makem. Even if it is a genuine mistake on my part ;-)
Mackems are those that inhabit Sunderland. The name comes from the funny accent they have there (not like us. obviously). The full name is Mackem 'n Tackems. That's because instead of saying 'make' or 'take' they pronounce it tak and mak.
Middlesbro' -- smoggies.
All very friendly irrationalism/rivalry of course;)
For Will - a joke that a Geordie told me. For those with a politically correct disposition, please look away now:
A Scouser, a Makem and a Geordie are arrested in Saudi Arabia (caught drinking alcohol) and sentenced to 40 lashes each.
Before the Scouser is whipped he is granted one wish. "Can you tie a pillow to my back?" he asks. The pillow is tied to his back and the punishment begins. After 20 lashes the pillow is in shreads and after 40 his back is a mass of lacerations.
Next comes the Makem, and he is also granted a wish. "Can I have two pillows tied to my back?" he asks. Two pillows are tied to his back and the punishment begins. After 30 lashes the pillows are in shreads and after 40 his back is similarly laceratered.
Next comes the Geordie. The court recognises his accent. "From Newcastle?" They ask. Geordie nods. "We like Bobby Robson, so you can have two wishes." "Great," says Geordie. "Can I have 100 lashes?" "100 lashes?" the judge says in disbelief. "Aye, and can you tie the Makem to my back?"
16 comments:
Okay Mel, you have to give us a clue. Is it Eisenstein making a movie or just someone with a camera? We need to know.
Erm - its a work in progress. All will be revealed.
Though off the top off my head it could a charcoal drawing of Jim Jeffries looking through a long range photo lens and mumbling to himself: "So that's what the top half of the SPL looks like."
It's worse than that, RC. It's actually a half decent joke from me for a change - I don't usually laugh at my own jokes - and I've wasted it on the manager of Kilmarnock. Damn.
It's probably factually wrong - I'm expecting somebody to pop and, putting on the John Motson voice, intone: "In fact, you will find that Kilmarnock finished in the top half of the Scottish Premier League very recently."
Comedy - it's a serious business.
Come on Mel. We're waiting...
It may be a long wait, Will. Wrote a long screed to accompany the picture and what happened, the PC froze on me - losing the post. So that was cheerful. I may try and salvage something in the next day or to, and I'll undoubtedly recycle the jokes in the missing post (I'd do that anyway, blog or not), but it was a bit of a pisser.
For the culture vultures, the image is by Ken Currie who done the excellent working class histroy murals for the People's Palace in Glasgow all those years ago. The title of the lost message was originally going to be: 'Desperately Seeking Inspiration For the Next Post', but it has since been amended, and the motion now reads 'Desperately Seeking the Lost Post.'
And there was you thinking I was still laughing at my excellent joke above - I am by the way. That wasn't bad for me.
Shit - sorry for the typos and crap spelling in the previous post.
SITUATION VACANT
Proof reader required for this blog. Salary - a year's subscription to the Socialist Standard.
CV's and financial inducements to be sent to the Ingrate.
Will you stop calling me a Mackem. My solicitors are on standby. Wind-ups are okay but that takes things too far :(
Radical Postman wrote:
"If it is Ken Currie then the setting must be Govan Shipyard and yet there is not one roll up hanging from one single lip. Socialist Realism or what?"
A joke so good it had to be wrote twice ;-)
I understand that Currie was a member of the CP (that would be the Communist Party rather than the Correctve Party, though I can understand people maybe being confused 'cos they both shared a penchant for authoritarianism and indulged in a sado-masochistic relationship between the leadership and the rank n' file) in the eighties and perhaps in keeping with that Party - and 'socialist realism' - he wanted to depict the CP's fictionalised version of the working class wearing the old rose tinted specs.
What's a "Mackem" anyway?
I'm tempted to say 'ask Will', but a Mackem/Makem is someone from the Wear area of the North East. For some reason, Geordies seem to overreact if they are mistakenly referred to as a Mackem/Makem. Even if it is a genuine mistake on my part ;-)
Genuine mistook my arse.
Mackems are those that inhabit Sunderland. The name comes from the funny accent they have there (not like us. obviously). The full name is Mackem 'n Tackems. That's because instead of saying 'make' or 'take' they pronounce it tak and mak.
Middlesbro' -- smoggies.
All very friendly irrationalism/rivalry of course;)
For Will - a joke that a Geordie told me. For those with a politically correct disposition, please look away now:
A Scouser, a Makem and a Geordie are arrested in Saudi
Arabia (caught drinking alcohol) and sentenced to 40
lashes each.
Before the Scouser is whipped he is granted one wish.
"Can you tie a pillow to my back?" he asks.
The pillow is tied to his back and the punishment begins.
After 20 lashes the pillow is in shreads and after 40 his
back is a mass of lacerations.
Next comes the Makem, and he is also granted a wish.
"Can I have two pillows tied to my back?" he asks.
Two pillows are tied to his back and the punishment begins.
After 30 lashes the pillows are in shreads and after 40 his
back is similarly laceratered.
Next comes the Geordie. The court recognises his accent.
"From Newcastle?" They ask. Geordie nods.
"We like Bobby Robson, so you can have two wishes."
"Great," says Geordie. "Can I have 100 lashes?"
"100 lashes?" the judge says in disbelief.
"Aye, and can you tie the Makem to my back?"
Will will say "meekem" and "teekem" in that funky Danish dialect of his.
Will will say "meekem" and "teekem" in that funky Danish dialect of his.
yous are allfuckedup like, being a geordie who naas.
Eh?
HM
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