Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Two Pints by Roddy Doyle (Alfred A. Knopf 2012)


— Did she?
— Yeah.
— That’s bad. Wha’ was it?
— Cancer.
— Ah well. Cancer of the disco. It gets us all in the end.
— I met the wife durin’ ‘Love To Love You Baby’.
— You asked her up.
— No.
— No?
— I asked another young one an’ she said, Fuck off an’ ask me friend.
— An’ tha’ was the wife.
— Her sister. An’ she told me to fuck off as well. So. Annyway. Here we are.
— Grand. She’d a few good songs, but – Donna.
— ‘MacArthur Park’. That was me favourite.
— A classic. Until Richard fuckin’ Harris took it an’ wrecked it.
— It’s all it takes, isn’t it? Some cunt from Limerick takes a certified disco classic an’ turns it into some sort o’ bogger lament.
— Someone left the cake out in the rain.
— They wouldn’t know wha’ cake was in Limerick. They’d be puttin’ it in their fuckin’ hair.
— An’anyway, they’d’ve robbed the fuckin’ cake long before it started rainin’.
— Is she upset about Donna – the wife?
— Stop. Jesus, man, we were just gettin’ over Whitney. An’ now this.
— Will she go over for the funeral?
— She’s headin’ down to the fuckin’ credit union.

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