Heroic Failure

I don't think Victor likes me. Maybe it's a Menshevik Internationalist versus *cough* Libertarian Bolshevik type feud, but what other explanation is there for him passing on to me a comic book superhero meme? What I know about comic books outside of the Broons and Oor Wullie annuals can be written on the back of a postage stamp, with enough space left over to also write out the lyrics of Tokyo Storm Warning in capital letters. No, wait up he mentions that I have excellent taste in music, so who am I to queston his motives in the circumstances?

Suped Up: The Post-Human Quiz

If you could have one superpower, what would it be and why? (Assume you also get baseline superhero enhancements like moderately increased strength, endurance and agility.)

Though I've never seen the film Mystery Men, I've always liked its central idea of crap superheroes so, in that spirit, my superpower would be to be able to knit, crochet and cross stitch at high speed. In my everyday dealings with super villians and their nefarious attempts to hold the world to ransom yet again, my ability to knit temporary holding cells at high speed after I disarm them with nothing more than a knitting needle, a sponge and a rusty spanner would come in really handy. If they ask me nicely, and show sufficient remorse, I could even throw in a couple of cross-stitched tea towels.

Which, if any, 'existing' superhero(es) do you fancy, and why? Erm, I'm interpreting this question as which actresses who have played superheroes do I fancy? In that case, Catwoman 'cos she was played by Halle Berry and The Bowler 'cos she was played by Janeane Garofalo. Victor, too much information mate! ;-) Which, if any, 'existing' superhero(es) do you hate?

Hate is too strong a term, 'cos I'm left cold and indifferent to them all, but with a quick google search - erm, Googleman, what a great name for a superhero. No task is too difficult for Googleman. Faced with immediate danger from his adversaries, in a micro-second he can come up with 1,343,654 different pages for the keywords Keira + Knightley + naked, thus rendering the baddies immobolised and speechless whilst they (silver) surf the web, and thus buying me enough time whilst I knit and crotchet a temporary holding cell at high speed. I'll even throw in the tea towels for free. They will need them after surfing the web. - I'll opt for Conan the Barbarian. I never did buy into that fascist fuck. And before anyone pops up and says he isn't a superhero, all I can say is that he was in Marvel Comics. That is good(bad) enough for me for the purposes of this question.

OK, here's the tough one. What would your superhero name be? (No prefab porn-name formulas here, you have to make up the name you think you'd be proud to mask under.)

In keeping with my superpowers already listed, I'll go with The Crotcheteer. The name conjures up a picture of a superhero who is that blend of the practical, the menacing - if you were a baddy, would you want to be crotcheted? - but someone who is also in touch with his feminine side.

For extra credit: Is there an 'existing' superhero with whom you identify/whom you would like to be?

Sorry, I haven't seen the films but isn't Peter Parker/Spiderman the one who is always moaning and anxious? He seems to be someone who I could identify with. We could listen to Red House Painters albums together.

Pass it on. Three people please, and why they're the wind beneath your wings.

Ally at Perspective, 'cos from being a regular reader of his blog, I know he likes his comic book heroes; Morgan at Skookum Talk 'cos he doesn't blog regularly enough; and PB Ed at International Rooksbyism 'cos I think he is a bit of an aficionado when it comes to comic books as he used to tell me ad nauseum that the: "Socialist Standard reads like the fucking Beano." Or words to that effect.