Mmm, what can I write about today?

Things of note include that Celtic - my team - won the Scottish Championship today after beating Kilmarnock 1-0 with a goal from Stillian Petrov. It has been on the cards for some months that Celtic were going to win the title so there is no feeling of elation or Cheshire Cat style grin. Just an acceptance and an acknowledgement that from now on it may be downhill.

Henrik Larsson is going to sunnier climes (didn't know that Saltcoats had a team but there you go) and the Martin O'Neill is just marking time until Alex Ferguson gets shunted into some sort of honorary position at Man Utd, and he takes on the role of next Man Utd manager.

It would be so passe if Ferguson got the role of Honorary President of Man Utd (like Matt Busby before him) or even 'chief meeter and greeter' for the chablis and prawn sandwich set who congratulate each other on their good fortune in the David Blaine style exec boxes at Old Trafford. A far more creative role for Fergie would be for him to be a human art exhibit cum human hands dryer in the bogs at Old Trafford.

Once the Man Utd fan has washed his hands after a piss - aye, I know, I'm stretching credibility here - instead of using paper towels or one of those electric hand driers they could toddle over to Fergie who would be sitting in the corner of the bogs, and fire a question at him along the lines of: "OK - Prune face how much did you get bunged for using your son as the agent for all those transfers to and from United?" Fergie would crank into life with vituperative rage and give the fan the 'hairdryer treatment' of popular dressing room fame. The fan's hands would be dried in an eco-friendly fashion and they would have something to tell the grandkids when going back home to Surrey/Cornwall/Hong Kong/North Wales (delete as appropriate).