"I'm ripping down that poster. I fucking hate socialists."

The title of this blog is from The Man Who Feel Asleep's Tube Gossip. One of the funniest things I have read on the web in a long time. If you have a spare half hour, it's worth checking out.

Some more of my favourites are reproduced below (and thanks to SIAW for the original hat tip.)

I got chocolate money, but it was Euros.... I felt very modern.

Rebrov's gone from the Champions League to the bench at West Ham. That's the Spurs effect.

I smoke cigarettes because I like them, not so that I can get criticised by you every ten minutes.

I spoke to God and he told me that he hates you.

Anyway, she has to go round everyone in the IT department and remind them not to wank in the toilets.

That's not a dog - it's a rat with delusions of grandeur.

Osama Bin Laden is like the Tupac Shakur of the terrorist world. He's dead, but they keep re-releasing old statements of his.

Some people in the third world can't afford DVDs and have to watch VHS videos.

I would never punish my kids by hitting them. I just make them feel guilty and all twisted up inside.

I was actually born in Harpenden. But I got out of there pretty fast.

He was pretending to play with the phone, but he was obviously trying to photograph me.

You have the chin of a Welshman.

There’s nothing worse than those white Ipod headphones.