The True Confessions of Adrian Albert Mole, Margaret Hilda Roberts and Susan Lilian Townsend by Sue Townsend (Methuen 1989)

 

Russia

. . .  My last visit was in May of this year. I was a guest of the Great Britain–USSR Association. There was only one serious drawback – I would be in the company of other writers. The purpose of the visit was to have round-table talks with members of the Soviet Writers’ Union.

I am scared of writers, and, fearful of their beady-eyed scrutiny, I normally avoid literary occasions. But because it was Russia I accepted.

The visa was applied for. I read the list of the accompanying writers with a sinking heart. Paul Bailey, Alan Bennett, Timothy Mo, Craig Raine and Christopher Hope. I had nothing against them as people – I’d never met them – but they were writers. We met for lunch at the Great Britain–USSR headquarters in Grosvenor Place. John Roberts, the association’s director, introduced us to Anne Vaughan, who was to be our mother, timekeeper, guide, translator, travel organizer, and lender of tights. During lunch I overheard Timothy Mo say, ‘I hope to get some scuba diving in.’ ‘In Moscow?’ I thought. It reminded me of a friend of mine who was summoned to the Job Centre, where he informed the clerk that he hadn’t worked for several years because he was a sponge diver but he didn’t want to leave Leicester.