Showing posts with label Darts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Darts. Show all posts

Monday, July 27, 2026

Fake it till you make it

15 darts thrown (2 bounced out). There's a (fake) 180 in there somewhere.

Dicking around 'cos my darts' performance at the moment are absolutely shocking. It's my worst slump in at least a year. No cast iron explanation but a lot of bullshit theories. The least bullshit - and, therefore, the most plausible - is that I'm just winding down on the darts. A combination of age, health, indifference and just feeling fucking blah.

All melancholy aside, throwing multiple darts at the board in a random fashion actually serves some purpose. It's good for the dartitis . . .  if nothing else.  I even threw the darts without using the 'fake' throw. I haven't thrown darts like that for a while.



Thursday, May 07, 2026

Previously seen in a small hut in Düsseldorf, West Germany, circa 1983

Seven years ago today.

Yes, that was my board and those were my darts. 

The board was from Aldi. I think the Darts were from a Christmas Cracker . . . they might as well have been.




Facebook likes to trigger me.

Thursday, October 23, 2025

Field of Anxious Dreams

I have had three darts dreams in the last two and a half days. 

That's not good . . . especially when those dreams doesn't involve me scoring a 9-darter against Luke Littler at a World Championship or bonding with Marisa Tomei over a love of Loxley's latest range of darts.

Instead, my brain insists on me dreaming about snapped darts, darting mishaps involving four darts in the board, and darts matches which resemble that pub scene from An American Werewolf in London.

I need a new hobby.

Sunday, October 19, 2025

Never fear . . .

. . . it may take 5 and a half years but I will hunt you down, and I will post those pics on the blog.

Where there's an opportunity for a humblebrag, it's never too late, never too sad or never too obnoxious.

Tuesday, October 14, 2025

The Mismatch Report

So last night's grudge match turned out to be a bit of a damp squib. Turns out they were nice guys, despite the fact that they had done the darting dirty on us last season (I'll give them the benefit of doubt for the season before that). 15-4 was a bit of massacre, but we needed the win and we especially needed the extra points.

I was just glad that the T-shirts didn't come back to bite us on the arse. That would have been embarrassing. Yes, I am being suitably cryptic.

In other news, just scored my 177th 180 of the year. They are few and far between at the moment. They always dry up in the fall. Don't know why. Probably my old bones and the weather.




177/50

Monday, August 25, 2025

Near perfection . . .

I actually consider this attempted sequence to be the peak/ultimate/most elusive (delete as appropriate) 9-dart combination. I wrote words to that effect 4 and a half years ago on a Darts forum.

Gutted that they missed it. Hopefully this clip goes viral, and someone else will attempt it.




I better mention the players names in the post itself. Videos from YouTube have a tendency to go awol after a couple of years. Step forward Sweden's Anton Östlund and Andreas Harrysson.

Thursday, July 17, 2025

A grand total of 42 . . . but grand all the same.

Occasionally I throw these posts in to pad out the blog. It could be worse, I could be moaning about social media and/or zoomers.

There is a skill involved here. At least for the second and third dart. No idea what was going on with the first one. Maybe win the lottery and hire a hypnotherapist to unearth what was going on with that first dart. It could be a movie.


Sunday, July 06, 2025

Mixing Darts and Politics

I saw a chance to come up with a 'Mixing Darts and Politics' label, and I seized it. I'm not apologising.

Political poetry signage from the recent 2025 Poland Darts Masters:




The bucket hats suggest that they should have been at the Oasis gig but they seem happy enough. A nice touch to have the Rob Cross lookalike holding the sign.

Tuesday, May 13, 2025

In the voice of Matt Berry . . .

Just stumbled across this on my desktop, and for the life of me I can't remember if I originally found it on Facebook or Twitter. I need more darts jokes like this in my life.

And that final panel is very Matt Berry/IT Crowdish. If you know, you know . . . 




Thursday, March 13, 2025

Out injured

I'm currently stricken down with tennis darts elbow. I need to step back from the oche for a bit.

Maybe it will help with the dartitis?

Sunday, November 17, 2024

"This wasn't in the script . . . "

Famous last words, and all that, but Anderson has come steaming back in the Grand Slam of Darts against Luke Littler.



Saturday, July 06, 2024

'Get behind me, Sid Waddell !'

Never done that before.

I hate it when you pick up different darts and they immediately seem to ‘work’.

. . . ‘cos everyone who plays darts knows that the darting gods are just fucking with you. 



Monday, January 01, 2024

I'm going back to 2023

First meme of the year  . . . first prediction of the year . . . and the first fuck up of the year. Nice to set off on the right foot for the New Year. (Yep, already broke my New Year Resolution as well  . . . but that was hours ago.)

Tuesday, March 28, 2023

Bellies and Bullseyes: The Outrageous True Story of Darts by Sid Waddell (Ebury Press 2007)

 



During my first performance I managed to upset some of the crowd and players. David and I did our thing on a first-floor balcony, about sixty feet up and back from the stage action. We were not soundproofed in any way, because, I assume, at the snooker, ‘Whispering’ Ted Lowe and the others operated at the table side and very much sotto voce. Not the style of the lad who was soon to become dubbed ‘The Geordie Lip’. I got really excited and loud when a Geordie team, from Cramlington near Ashington, were going well. So much so that an angry voice from below threatened to ‘come up and smack that bastard on the balcony’. Then I loudly predicted a player would try to go out from 128 with 60, 60, double 4. The bloke froze on stage, turned theatrically, looked up at me and bellowed: ‘No I bloody won’t’ – then went out with 60, 18, bull! It brought the house down, not so much for winning the leg but mainly for putting me in my place. But, believe me, this was small beer compared to the stick that lay ahead.

Friday, February 18, 2022

Sunday, August 15, 2021

The Crafty Cockney : the autobiography by Eric Bristow (Arrow Books 2008)

 


Streetwise
‘You play like a poof!’

These were, the words my dad George said to me when he first watched me play darts. I was eleven years old and he'd just bought me a board for my birthday. I was playing in my bedroom.

‘I can't take you down the pub if you play like that,' he said.

I’d never played darts before, but three weeks later I was getting regular three-dart scores of a hundred plus. The trouble was 1 had a unique style of throwing that in my dad's eyes looked suspect. It involved standing to the side and holding the dart lower down the barrel so my little finger rested on the tip of it. This hindered my throwing action. To overcome this I raised my little finger in the air so there was no contact with the point.

‘You look like a little posh boy holding a china teacup,’ he said.

‘Give it a rest, Dad,' I said to him. This is the way I play, and this is the way I'll always play.’

He didn’t like it, but it was a style that gave me five World Championships, five World Masters, two News of the World titles, four British Opens, three Butlins Grand Masters and numerous Open wins in Sweden, Denmark and North America, plus a host of other tides — and pretty soon everybody was copying my throwing style. As soon as I got good there were thousands of other players in pubs and clubs up and down the country all playing with raised pinkies. They thought they could be great darts players just by lifting up their little finger. What a bunch of wallies!