The Works

Are you shitting me?

I only picked up these darts 'cos I asked my son to get me a random dart to help me open a package. I decided to play with them against the Dart bot, and I only go and hit my first ever 170 checkout. ('The Big Fish'.)

I haven't played with these darts - One80 Rectifiers - for about 4 years. This is the bane of the bang average dart player. Pick up a random set darts, play out of your skin with them for 5 minutes, and then convince yourself that they're your 'forever darts'.

It serves me right.

Where were you last night?

Another league defeat last night. That's three defeats in a row now. Losing one of our best players to a broken hand and the new format have not helped us. It also didn't help that I was standing in the wrong part of the oche for the first half of last night. My fault as it was my decision. 

I did end up salvaging something by hitting a Round of 9 in my cricket singles match in the final round. My first ever R9 in a league match. (I hit a 180 in a league match a few years ago.) I nearly hit a second R9 a couple of minutes later but the third dart deflected in the T3. (I was going for 3 T17s.)

Anyway, back to this morning's 132 checkout. The second time I've hit the Bull, Bull, D16 checkout, and this time my dartitis was giving me gip.

''Matched it!'

You have to read the title of the post in the voice of Jay from The Inbetweeners.

My second 167 checkout in two weeks. Russ Bray's Dart App isn't going to like that. He will take great delight in punishing me on the doubles for the foreseeable future.

It got a shit review from Roger Ebert

Posted Monday morning, April 13th.

I'd paused this movie. Not because I wasn't enjoying it. I just needed a cup of tea and a late night snack. 

And, as is my habit, I decided to throw some darts whilst waiting for the kettle to boil. The anorak in me means that I can't just throw random darts at the board. They have to mean something. So I fire up the First to 100 game against the Level 9 Bot, which is getting too used to turning into Peak Phil 'Fucking' Taylor when shooting at doubles, and I snag my highest ever outshot/checkout/two fucking fingers to the digital Phil 'Fucking' Taylor wannabe. A 167 for the Darts blockers amongst you: T20, T19, Bullseye. ('Double Cork' if you're reading this in French Lick, Indiana.)

It's the second highest checkout in darts. Only the *cough* Big Fish tops it.

Now, this is where it gets confusing. I was  . . . I am . . . convinced that my previous best was a 158 checkout (T20, T20, D19) but, at this moment in time, I can't find any record/picture of that particular outshot (mix and match, peeps). Did I just imagine it? Is it just like that (probably imaginary) 180 from 1982? Am I imagining things related to darts? Is that a silhouette of Sid Waddell at the window beckoning me to walk towards the light?

Until I find my version of the Zapruder film, we'll never know. 

Fancy-danning it

Okay, I've hit this checkout before, so it shouldn't be such a big deal but for it to happen on the same day as the 134 checkout - and when I've been moaning about missing doubles - then I just have to give myself a wee pat on the back.

I've seen players attempt this checkout in the local league, and though the title of the post is 'Fancy-danning it', there's a logic to this outshot. Muscle memory . . . don't fucking waste it. 

Tasty . . . very, very tasty

Nope, 134 is not a personal high for a checkout but I was on a high after I hit it . . . especially as the D10 went in under the strain of the dreading-D.

I've got in my head now to use the 19s and 17s more for checkouts. It's not necessarily fancy-danning (if that's not a word, it should be) but more a case of relying on muscle memory 'cos of the Dartitis. That's why it made more sense going for two T19s, then going for the D20, as opposed to the more conventional route of T20, T14, D16. Too much switching around, too much chance of me getting inside my head.

I should stick to this outshot for future reference. Park it alongside 146 and 131. IYKYK.

147

Not my highest checkout but I'll take it. Finishing on D18 is especially pleasing 'cos, as a rule, I really dislike the 18 segment. (I have my reasons.)

130 checkout

Just get to the point. File under pleasing.

T20 + T13 + D16 = 131

Okay, it's not my highest checkout but it is pretty cool all the same.

Not a high . . . but still a high

Okay, 146 is not 152 but with my dartitis as it is right now, this qualifies as a good fucking out. (I swear when I'm agitated.*) 

Notice I didn't go T20, T18, D16. That's the commonplace way to go but I have to fall back on muscle memory 98% of the time now. So I will always try and throw the first two darts in the same general area if I can. That means if I'm on 132, I'm going bull, bull, D16 . . . even if it does mean I look like a flash bastard, and if I'm on 116, I'll got T19, S19, D20. I've yet to get to the stage of going T20,T20,D1 for a 122 checkout but that moment is getting closer. (The thing stopping me is the danger of busting out.)

* I also swear when I'm happy, sad, flustered, sweaty and in my sleep.

A thing of beauty

Posted 4th April 2025.

I can't believe it took me exactly one month to post this glorious checkout on the blog. I was probably still in shock, to be honest. The only checkouts that would top a checkout where the first two darts are bulls is the 'big fish' - which is a 170 checkout for non-darting folk - or a 150 checkout where you score three bulls, and then have to go home in an ambulance 'cos your opponent kicks you in the balls for showboating.*

I actually went for the same checkout again a couple of days ago but missed the D16. I can't remember the 132 checkout from March in detail but I vividly remember that my Dartitis was turned up to 11 for the attempt a few days ago. If I don't get that sorted, I'm fucking torpedoed. 

*Yes, I know both of those better checkouts also begin with two bulls. I'm not that daft.

In between numbers 27 & 28 . . .

. . . I hit a 150 checkout. That was a wild six minutes.

I didn't think to take a pic of the checkout, 'cos my best checkout is a 152. I actually regret that decision now. 

The other downside of that brief flurry of my darts being on point is that my Dartitis started to rear its ugly head again. (It's never far away at any time, tbh.) Only when I was throwing for doubles though. A victim of my success.

28/50

Interesting to note that this 180 and number 27 are near identical in how they've landed in the T20 bed. The only slight difference is that this one landed more to the left side of the T20 bed.

There's been an arrested development.

Pardon the cringeworthy pun but I equalled my highest ever checkout. 

Why the post title? See here and all will be explained.

There's been a development.

146 is my highest check out.

152 is my highest check out.

146 Checkout

Do you want a laugh  . . . of sorts?

This post is dated December 19th, 2024, but I'm actually posting it on March 22nd 2026. How messed up is that? I've been staring at this checkout on my desktop for about 15 months now, and never thought to post it on the blog. How's that for procrastination.

What is there to write about about an event that happened so long ago. Well, the picture indicates that I was throwing darts at a fresh board - an early Christmas present from Kara - and that I was still using the Ayn Rand flights.

Other than that, it is just speculation and the usual repetition. Should I have just left the pic on the desktop and not made a post so long after the fact? Maybe, but my dartitis is such right now that it is unthinkable that I could achieve such a smooth ton plus checkout in 2026. It's just not happening  . . . except when it occasionally does.

Edited to add:

Another difference is that in 2026, I would now go the route of T19, T19, D16. Another by-product of the dartitis.

Monday morning . . .

. . . and it's too early, nobody's had enough sleep and certain family members are grumpy as fuck. In between making people's breakfasts and waiting for the kettle to boil I switch on the Russ Bray Darts App and resume a marathon 501 game against my digital opponent.

Maybe it's my half-awake state or me just trying to tune out the general morning melee but I hit a 130 checkout - T20, T20, D5 - and it's the second time I've hit that same checkout in the last few days. For some reason, D5 works for me.

All is calm and serene - for me, at least - this Monday morning.

Shit, I've peaked too soon. 

'Don't quote me on this . . . '

. . .  but this 146 might be my highest ever check out. And, funnily enough, I threw for a 156 checkout about 10 minutes later. Of course, I missed the D18 . . . I hate the D18 as a rule.

Muscle memory . . .

Not showboating. There's a lot to be said for just falling back on muscle memory when going for double doubles. When it works, it's wonderful.