News of my 15 seconds . . .

. . .of blogging fame arrives via my sitemeter (relegated to page 2 of the link of course), and my friends and family would be so proud, except I don't know any friends or family who actually read the Glasgow Herald. I'm a tad bemused that a throwaway line is quoted - though I stand by my opinion that the SSP will implode and explode simultaneously - but, party hack to the bitter end, my fingers are crossed that a few people visiting the blog will check out the links to the Socialist Standard as featured on the sidebar.

It is a shame that this blog post isn't cited in the piece, 'cos I happen to think it is the best blog post I've read on the whole business. And I'm not just saying that 'cos Shuggy was kind enough to link to my post. I also liked this opinion piece on the matter from what, I presume, was the Canadian section of the SIAW which was buried away in the comments box of the Drinked Soaked Trots superblog. I especially like this passage:

"First and foremost, it should not be overlooked that Sheridan and his leading critics alike all come out of the Militant tradition established by the late Ted Grant, which for decades was firmly wedded to the doctrine of the expedient lie: no, we’re not a party, we’re just a tendency; no, we’re not Trotskyist entryists, we’re just ordinary working-class folk; no, we don’t control constituency Labour parties, or Labour groups in local councils, from behind the scenes, we just publish a weekly newspaper. They've moved on from entryism (largely because the Scottish Parliament's PR system has provided a new opening for them rather than from some deepseated change of heart), but why should anyone now believe anything that any of them say without corroboration?"

I don't necessarily go along with the bit about why they moved away from entryism: I think there was a genuine political and intellectual shift away from their previous shoddy practice, but hats off to the SIAW for hitting the nail squarely on the head otherwise.

Albert Who?

UPDATE 4/18/08

Hello, welcome and shalom. 

Visiting the blog via the link from the Guardian's 'Joy of Six: the greatest league title finales' blog post?

I'm guessing you want the Billy Connolly Albert Kidd anecdote without having to first wade through the obscure music references, bad puns and shameless plugging of the Socialist Standard. I totally understand. I'm exactly the same when navigating my way through a Barry Glendenning article. The Connolly/Kidd anecdote is at the bottom of the post. 

Thanks for visiting.

Just realised that some readers of the blog will be totally non-plussed at the mention of the bloke called 'Albert Kidd' in a recent post. 

To cut a long story short, "I lost my mind"* Albert Kidd was the Dundee striker - nothing to do with Timex, that was a few years later - who, in 1986, scored two goals against Hearts at Dens Park in the last eight minutes of the game to deprive the latter of the Scottish League Championship. Celtic, by beating St Mirren 5-0 at Love Street - and that's nothing to do with TS but, for the record, he was on the picket line at Timex in an act of solidarity - on the same day snatched the title away from the Jambos** on goal difference. 

Prior to the final league game of the season, Hearts had gone 31 games without defeat and all they needed was to draw their game against Dundee to win the League for the first time in about thirty odd years. The following week, no doubt still devastated at choking at the final hurdle of the title race, they lost the Scottish Cup final to Aberdeen. A case of double or nothing.

Due to what was, I presume, the thoughtful act of a Hibs*** fan - or, more likely, 729 Hibs fans caught up in a cyber-stampede as they all simultaneously sought to be the first person to upload the clip - the good people at Youtube have footage of that memorable day at Dens Park. 

I know the quality of the clip is very grainy, but trust me it wasn't Bobby Ball who scored those two goals against Hearts, it was Albert Kidd. The first talking head who pops up during the clip is John Colquhoun, a member of the Hearts team in '86. I remember watching a long time ago an episode of Halfway to Paradise - an excellent arts show that was made in Scotland that was only spoiled by the fact that it was hosted by Stuart Cosgrove - where Colquhoun spoke passionately of his political beliefs, citing Robert Tressell's Ragged Trousered Philanthropists as a major influence. Heartening then to discover via wikipedia that Colquhoun stayed true to those beliefs by becoming a *cough* football agent.****

As I'm feeling particularly generous, and as it has now become apparent that I was lying to myself when I said this post would be short, I'll also throw in the Youtube clip of Celtic steamrollering St Mirren 5-0 on that day. 

Word of warning: I recommend that you turn down the volume on the clip, as the musical accompaniment is mince, and I recommend you play the Undertones' 'Love Parade' instead. Some cracking goals that day - especially the third goal - and it's such a pleasure to watch Danny McGrain in full flow, even if it's only for a few minutes. The bloke looked twenty years older than anybody else on the pitch, but his finesse in breaking up a St Mirren attack on the edge of Celtic's penalty box, and setting in motion a series of quick flowing passes which resulted in Mo Johnston dispatching the ball into the net for the third goal was a joy to behold. 

Also nice to see Brian 'Choccy' McClair scoring a couple of goals that day. People forget what a great goalscorer he was  for Celtic. They also forget that, like Colquhoun, he was also a bit of a lefty in his day. However, his favourite political book wasn't Tressell's classic, but Upton Sinclair's The Jungle. (Apologies for that bad visual pun - I couldn't help myself.)

Back to Albert Kidd before I forget. A story that did the rounds that many times that I believed it myself was that Albert Kidd was the recipient of the 1986 Hibs Supporters Player of the Year as a result of those famed seven or eight minutes but, according to this article that I found on the net during my exhaustive research, it was an urban myth that took on a life of its own. 

With reference to that linked article, I love this wee self-deprecating anecdote that Kidd told to a contingent of Hibs supporters living in Australia, after they invited him to be a guest of honour at one of their piss ups:

One of the most amusing [anecdotes] was told indeed by Alby [Albert Kidd] himself, and centred on a chance meeting he had with the Big Yin, Billy Connolly in an Adelaide hotel. Alby was attending a function in the hotel the story goes, when he entered the lift, and there by chance was Billy Connolly himself, who was returning from a gig he had just performed at in Adelaide.

“Big Man!” exclaimed Alby and shook his hand. “Your Scottish?” enquired Connolly, as much out of politeness as anything else. The conversation progressed along normal small talk lines until Billy Connolly asked Alby what he did for a living, to which Alby replied that he was involved in football in Australia. “Really?” asked the Big Yin, “did you play back home?” “Yes, I played for a few clubs, among them Motherwell and Dundee” replied the ever-modest Alby. “Were you any good?” asked the famous visitor. “Well I dunno about that Billy, but I guess my claim to fame was that on the last day of the season I scored two goals against Hearts that cost them……… “ALBERT KIDD!!!” Billy Connolly interrupted mid sentence, bellowing, gazing upon his new friend open mouthed. “I can’t believe it!” “Here I am in Adelaide and I’m in a lift with Albert Kidd…I was at Love Street that day when the news came through and we won the league as a result!”

Nice.

*Lost in the eighties, of course I have to have my Spandau Ballet moment.

**"Jambos" - the nickname of Hearts of Midlothian. Probably something to do with their maroon colour jerseys, or maybe it's rhyming slang for Jammy Sparts on account of the rumour that Karl Liebknecht was once given a trial at Tynecastle. He declined the offer of the six month sentence.

***"Hibs" - short for Hibernian. Based in Leith, and with their support historically made up of the Irish Catholic community in Edinburgh, they are Hearts great city rivals. It goes without saying that they were just a wee bit happy at the news that Hearts had failed to win the title. This may be explained away by the fact that Hibs have themselves fallen short in recent decades years. They last won the Scottish Cup in 1902. That's right, 1902. They have been failing even longer than the SPGB. Even Third Lanark have won the cup more recently than that.

****Maybe this passage wasn't in the copy of the 'Ragged Trousered Philanthropists' that Colquhoun read: "‘Look at them!’ he continued with a contemptuous laugh. ‘Look at them! the people you are trying to make idealists of! Look at them! Some of them howling and roaring like wild beasts, or laughing like idiots, others standing with dull and stupid faces devoid of any trace of intelligence or expression, listening to the speakers whose words convey no meaning to their stultified minds, and others with their eyes gleaming with savage hatred of their fellow men, watching eagerly for an opportunity to provoke a quarrel that they may gratify their brutal natures by striking someone – their eyes are hungry for the sight of blood! Can’t you see that these people, whom you are trying to make understand your plan for the regeneration of the world, your doctrine of universal brotherhood and love are for the most part – intellectually – on level with Hottentots? The only things they feel any real interest in are beer, football, betting and – of course – one other subject. Their highest ambition is to be allowed to Work. And they desire nothing better for their children!"

Sent to Coventry

Strachan shakes loose the one and half million pounds that has been weighing down his bench this past year.

No news at this point if Gordon has asked him to pass on the following postcard message to this bloke if and when they bump into each other in the West Midlands.

Neil Lemon

WEEK 2

Hearts 2-1 Celtic

So much for Celtic proving me wrong by bouncing back from the midweek 3-0 defeat against Yokohama Marinos. By all accounts Edinburgh's second team deserved the victory - granted I'm going by what it says on the Hearts of Midlothian fans message boards - and Bednar, in having a legitimate goal disallowed, should have had a hat trick.

On the plus side, Celtic looked very retro and stylish in their sixties style away kit, and the Celtic goal involved a nice bit of build up play with a good finish from Petrov. (Maybe adding a few pennies on his transfer fee, as a consequence). I'm glad for Petrov, 'cos if he is going south for the winter, it's pleasing that he will be leaving on a good note. News is that Celtic are hoping to sign fellow Bulgarian international, Ivaylo Petkov, to fill the problematic right back position. Surely someone who has played 64 times at International level must be considered a good player? (Wait, did someone at the back mention Christian Dailly?)

On the not so plus side, Lennon's failed back pass that led to the winning goal shaved another few hundred members off his fan club membership rolls, and Strachan faces a ban after being sent off as a consequence of him performing a St Vitus dance on the touchline during the first half. Some people are saying that it was a result of him having a row with Hearts coach, John McGlynn, but I think it was brought on by the sudden realisation that Celtic should have done all in their power to hold onto to Jackie McNamara. An excellent utility player who would have provided cover for a multitude of defensive sins if he was still playing for Celtic today.

Nice to see that John Sutton and St Mirren are keeping the Jambos off the top of the league. That's how it should be, and it's not even as if Hearts know what to do with it when they are top of the league. They start getting dizzy, complain of suffering from vertigo and think that every second person who talks to them is whispering "Albert Kidd" in their ear in a sotto voce voice. Even more pleased - and surprised - to see that Falkirk have maximum points from their first two games. If it takes them winning the league to get their greatest fan - as in the Falkirk fan that happens to be a genuine great - published again, then so be it.

Come on the Bairns!

Car Crash TV

Painful to watch, and I don't just mean the shaky camcorder camera work. This clip posted on Youtube is, I'm guessing, something that has been put together at short notice by the United Left, the main anti-Sheridan grouping within the Scottish Socialist Party. By all accounts, the two opposing sides are now entrenched and the National Conference of the SSP, which has been brought forward to October of this year, will be the occasion when the rest of us will see who will be left standing from the political fall out between Sheridan and his former colleagues.

Sheridan and his supporters - which includes the Socialist Worker and the CWI platforms within the SSP amongst others - will be contesting the leading positions at the Conference, and I understand that Sheridan will be standing against Colin Fox for the 'leadership' of the SSP. I'm sure if the Conference and the leadership contest was held today, Sheridan and his supporters would be odds on to win but I wouldn't be surprised if there was a greater fall out in the time between now and October, and I wonder if Tommy will still be considered the 'working class hero' a few months from now.

From following the case and the reaction to the verdict from a few thousand miles away, it does appear that the immediate reaction to the verdict is that - whether he was telling the truth or not - most people are happy that Sheridan gave the News of the World a bloody nose. Not sure how those same people feel about Sheridan promptly selling his story to the Daily Record, but they seem to be happy to overlook the fact that Sheridan accused eleven colleagues of being liars; Some of whom were his closest political allies, spending the last twenty years working alongside him in the Militant Tendency, Scottish Militant Labour and the SSP and, whatever else you think about the politics of all concerned, were as integral to the growth of the SSP as Sheridan himself was.

And maybe the thought of SSP members going into the witness box and giving evidence that would corroborate part of the News of the World story against Sheridan does stick in the throat, but I find it less than credible that there was a grand conspiracy involving the News of the World, the 'Establishment' and political opponents of Sheridan within the SSP - "the mother of all stitch ups", no less - that came together to bring down Sheridan. It's the stuff of an over inflated ego and bad political fiction, and my cynicism about the case is compounded by the fact that opportunists such as the Socialist Worker Platform have lined up behind Sheridan. If anyone is seeking to make political capital out of this whole sorry business, it's not the United Left but the Socialist Worker and the CWI Platforms hanging onto the coat tails of Sheridan.

Whatever else happens, the Scottish Socialist Party, as we now know it, is going to be shattered into a thousand pieces.

Read It In The Books*

Spotted a link to this meme on Lisa's blog, and as it is too hot to think - I mean, christ, the last post where I mention all but one of the Kaiser Chiefs tracks on their album, Employment, in the body of post about Celtic was a consequence of me trying to use my brain in this weather - I thought I would be shameless enough to nick it, use it and discard it in the time it takes Lisa to watch once again 'Phew Paisley!', the compilation DVD she has recently put together and is trying to get the Renfrew Tourist Board to pick up and market.

1. One book that changed my life - Sad but true, but it is probably 'The Monument' by Robert Barltrop. An unofficial history of the SPGB that was published by Pluto Press in the mid-seventies, I remember thinking when reading it the late eighties that this was an organisation that, for all its studied eccentricity, was also a tradition that through difficult times had sought to stay true to the original vision of what socialism was actually meant to be about: " . . . a completely voluntaristic society in which we shall freely give according to our abilities and freely take according to our self-determined needs."

2. One book that I have read more than once: There are too many to mention, but a book I've reread in recent weeks is Gordon Legge's 'The Shoe'. A wonderful book that I know I can always get lost in anytime I have a few hours to spare, and I want to read something familiar and enjoyable.

3. One book I would want on a deserted island: 'A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius' by Dave Eggers. How else can I remain true to my New York Resolution to Kara that I would finally get round to reading it?

4. One book that made me laugh: Brian Behan's 'With Breast Expanded' has to be the funniest political memoir ever written.

5. One book that made me cry: Do people actually cry when reading books? Christ, I feel a bit of a cold-hearted bastard 'cos the last time I can remember welling up when reading a book was that scene in The Lion, the Witch and the Wardobe where Aslan was killed by the witch. I was about 7 or 8 at the time. However, I do also remember crying genuine tears of laughter when reading Alan Bleasdale's Scully and Joseph Heller's Catch 22 a few years after that.

6. One book I wish I'd written: Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens. That way I would have known how it had ended, and I wouldn't have fucked up my English Literature O Level exam.

7. One book I wish had never been written: A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius'.

8. One book I am currently reading: Phillip Pullman's The Subtle Knife.

9. One book I have been meaning to read: Jonathan Rabb's Rosa

*Echo and the Bunnymen

Oh My God, I Predict A Riot

Trust me, it's the not the stifling New York heat this time but will someone please take my temperature, 'cos I'm not sure if it's a misguided notion of a time honoured tradition or just the modern way but when Celtic travel half way around the world to get gubbed 3-0 by a team I've never heard of, the Yokohama Marinos, AFTER the season proper has already kicked off, then someone has to tell the suits at the club that "You Can't Have It All". A wrecking ball of a result in what was little more than an exhibition game to generate revenue has knocked the team off kilter after what was a good performance against Kilmarnock, and that doesn't bode well for the team talk the Saturday night before the game the next day against R*ngers Lite. I recognise that Strachan fielded a team largely made up of squad players, but players like Riordan, Sno, Marshall, Virgo and Thompson should be knocking on the door of the first team. I can't believe that a player of the quality of Thompson is now considered a bit part player. Surely he would be a valued team mate in any team?

It doesn't matter if Quinn has warned against so-called "offensive chanting", 'cos if the team are seen to be the subject of a bit of a mauling on Sunday, you can be rest assured that the Celtic fans won't be chanting "Na Na Na Naaa" as a stop gap replacement for a "sack the fucking board" style chant. Quinn strikes me as one of those type of Chairmen who, in the same vein as Doug Ellis and Ken Bates, will at the first sign of pointed and *cough* robust criticism get all pouty and issue press statements to the Celtic fans along the lines of 'everyday I love you less and less, and any more sniping from you lot in the cheap seats and I will be doing an offski with the biscuit tin money'.

On the subject of Glasgow Celtic and loving someone less and less everyday, that numpty Nicky Campbell has an article in today's Guardian on the subject of the Lisbon Lions. In fairness to him, he doesn't come across as so unctuously smug as he usually does on the radio, tv, 99% of his print journalism and in real life, and he does give proper homage to Jimmy Johnstone, the majestic wee player who combined dazzling football skills with pug ugliness a full forty years before Rooney and Ronaldinho became the nightmare of those ad adgencies who have the brief of marketing the beautiful game and having those two featured prominently in any of their ad campaigns.

On reflecting on the special quality of those players who made up the 1967 team, Campbell quotes Bono Jim Kerr, who writes of his family: ". . . laughing at the audacity of them. The gallousness - their cheek all against the odds. Jimmy Johnstone turning opponents' legs to spaghetti . . . " and there is no denying that when you see old footage of Jimmy using his nifty footwork to turn a defender this way and that, you can only conclude that if he hadn't become a footballer the wee gem would have been born to be a dancer. Campbell also makes mention of the McNeill and Gemmell in that team that came to fruition when Britain was still listening to Radio Caroline - yes, I know Campbell's former alma mater, Radio One started in 1967 - but a Lisbon Lion that deserves special mention on this blog is Stevie Chalmers - the scorer of the winning goal in Lisbon against Inter Milan - if only because my Dad's proudest moment in his employment history was that for a few years in the late sixties, he was Stevie Chalmer's postman, and remembers delivering his wages to his door every week to be signed the time Chalmers had broken his leg and was off training.

This coming season there will no doubt be a period of a nostalgia-fest for that great team from forty years ago, and like Campbell's piece, comparisons will be drawn between then and now. Stein legacy lasted well beyond 1967, continuing into the mid-seventies and but for a ferocious battle against Atletico Madrid in the 1974 semi-finals where, by common consent, Celtic were muscled out of a deserved victory, they may have capped it with another European Cup victory; this time against Bayern Munich, led by the great Franz Beckenbaur, 'the Kaiser'. Chiefs, the lot of them, despite being unable to bookend Stein's tremendous achievement that year.

Mel Gibson tries to explain away his temporary bout of anti-semitism

"It wasn't my fault, kids. They didn't have a tinfoil hat my size".

Iconic Signs

I don't think it's coincidental that in the same few days that there are reports all over the media about Fidel Castro temporarily stepping down as Cuba's dictator benevolent and beloved leader major pain in the arse to successive US administrations, whilst he recovers from surgery, and the news that Mel Gibson, director of 'The Passion of Christ', and the man with the first recorded case in medical history of temporary anti-semitism brought on by chugging a bottle of tequila, there is news of this incident of vandalism and/or agistencilism on a religious cave painting in Argyll, Scotland.

I think it's a sign . . . religious or dialectical, I don't know. Or maybe it's just a sign that I spent too long out in the sun today on what was the hottest day of the year so far in New York. Apparently, it's going to be even hotter tomorrow, possibly topping 110 degrees in some parts of the city. I better get the headgear in place for protection from both the heat and against conspiracy theories that may pop into my head as a consequence of the increased gamma rays.

Murray Bookchin 1921-2006

Sad to read of the news of the death of the anarchist/social ecologist, Murray Bookchin, at the age of 85.

Posted on the blog of the unofficial Socialist Standard MySpace page are the following three articles/reviews on Bookchin and his political thought that appeared in the Socialist Standard down the years:

Socialism and Ecology

Anarchism, Marxism and the Future of the Left by Murray Bookchin

Reflections on Elections

There is also an obituary for Bookchin on the Anarkismo website here.

There were obvious political differences between Bookchin and the political tradition of the Socialist Standard and the Socialist Party, and the aforementioned articles and reviews pulls no punches in detailing those differences, but for all that there is no denying the impact of Bookchin's books on revolutionary politics.