"Super Hans: Love's hard mate. Fucking hard. Doesn't work... breaks. But you've got to give it a go. Norwich are never going to win the league, but they still turn up every week don't they? The pricks."

Catching up again (part 50)

97/50

They are just too much . . .

For all you conspiraloon cunts in my life . . . I love you really:

" I can't believe you're trying to make me get a job not in the media. You're such a bastard."

Catching up again (part 49)

96/50

Tel Aviv on Fire (2018)

"Another roast? That's the third today."

Catching up again (part 48)

95/50

"I'm wrestling with the white working class! Morse never did this!) Just shut up!! (I'm better than Morse!)"

Catching up again (part 47)

94/50

"(I should do something. If decent people like me do nothing, then what? Then they'll come for the trade unionists- although that, to be honest, wouldn't really bother me too much)"

Catching up again (part 46)

93/50

"Super Hans: Yeah. Oh, demanded the Ramsgate blowjob. Jez: Mumford & Sons?"

Catching up again (part 45)

92/50

I Feel Fine . . .

One of those old cartoons that never goes out of fashion:

"Super Hans: Correct. Phonies. Jez: Foo Fighters."

Catching up again (part 44)

91/50

"Super Hans: Fakers. Jez: Pavement."

Catching up again (part 43)

90/50

"Super Hans: Correct. Bullshitters turning wank into cash. Jez: Flaming Lips?"

Catching up again (part 42)

89/50

"Isn't it convenient that out of the approximately three billion adult women in the world, your one true love happens to live in the same block of flats as you, instead of in a village in Mozambique?"

Catching up again (part 41)

88/50

I don't know about you, but I'm pencilled in for 1982 . . .

"Well . . . I did once start a business book and I've always fancied doing an article about the evacuation of Greece in 1941 for the local paper. Not that it would really fit in with all the kebab shop stabbings."

Catching up again (part 40)

87/50

"Dobby: [sings] Jeff's doing a joke, Jeff's doing a joke, everybody quiet 'cos Jeff's doing a joke!"

Catching up again (part 39)

86/50

"What?!! None?! But number 23 said she was definitely going to tick! That's a verbal contract!"

Catching up again (part 38)

85/50

G'olé!: The Official film of 1982 FIFA World Cup (1983)

"Super Hans: He wants to go home."

Catching up again (part 37)

84/50

Too close to home . . .

"Dobby: [reading] You're a piece of shit. Shitter, Stuff your bollocks up your gob..."

Catching up again (part 36)

83/50

"Have you read the Big Beat Manifesto lately?"

Catching up again (part 35)

82/50

"It smells wrong. I mean, the Megatron doesn't say 'urban freewheeelers', it says 'sofa masturbators'...y'know"

Catching up again (part 34)

81/50

The Quiet Assassin: The Davie Hay Story by Davie Hay with Alex Gordon (Black and White Publishing 2009)

Then, inexplicably. Big Jock dropped Geordie for the final and put him on the substitutes' bench. He went with the two in midfield - Murdy and Bertie - that had worked so wonderfully well in Lisbon in 1967. This was a different game, though. Feyenoord were exceptionally strong across the middle of the park where their main man was Wim van Hanagem, who was dismissed by Jock as being a 'poor man's Jim Baxter'. It was unlike our boss to misread a situation, but on this occasion he got it wrong; very wrong. Our line-up played right into their hands. We had Jinky, Willie Wallace, John Hughes and Bobby Lennox as a four-man frontline, but with the Dutch's stranglehold in the middle of the park, they were starved of any reasonable service. Normally, I could get forward when Jinky was buzzing, but the wee man was being suffocated by their defence. They double-banked and even treble-banked on him. They tried to force him inside into an already cluttered midfield where they had players waiting to pick him off.

Feyenoord played a pressing game all over the park and we were struggling to get into any sort of rhythm. They worked our defence well and didn't give us a moment's respite. Ove Kind vail, their Swedish striker, was keeping Billy McNeill occupied while Jim Brogan had picked up an early foot injury that curtailed his movement a bit. Tommy Gemmell was getting forward, as usual, but our cavalier fullback also had his work cut out deep in his own territory.

"Right, and who won - Gore Vidal or Dr Jonathan Miller?"

Catching up again (part 33)

80/50

Shitehawks (2020)

I've seen this painting before but it was entitled "SPGB branch meeting".

PS - The original is my favourite painting of all time, which I'm sure you needed to know.

'I'd Do Anything for a snack (But I Won't Do That) . . . '

You don't need to understand French to understand this tweet.

Faith in humanity restored.

"If it ain't broke, don't fix it. And even if it is broke, just ignore it and maybe it'll be sort of OK. Like the environment."

Catching up again (part 32)

79/50

Mark: "He thinks we can't hide here forever. Jez: He obviously doesn't know us at all, does he?"

Catching up again (part 31)

78/50

There's a word for that.

I seem to remember that I started playing Lexulous because I was suffering a really bad case of 'baby brain', and lack of sleep meant I could feel my brain seeping out of my ear each sleepless night. Eleven years on and I play Lexulous 'cos I can't be arsed to get the Scrabble board out:

"In business, Jeremy, you learn that every man has his price, and I judge yours to be... £530."

Catching up again (part 30)

77/50

''She's not out of Hollyoaks, Jeremy, she probably had a ration book!'

Catching up again (part 29)

76/50

"She's good for me, Jez. She's dragging me into the twenty-first century with its meaningless logos and ironic veneration of tyrants. It's all good, my friend."

Catching up again (part 28)

75/50

Some Serious Shit

Via Jake S. over at Facebook:

Carry On Columbus

These coronavirus jokes are just going to run and run.

PS - Mr. Griffiths is that rarest of breeds: he once voted for the SPGB.

Just a friendly reminder, folks.

"(At least he doesn't know about my emergency Twix)."

Catching up again (part 27)

74/50

"You think Roy Castle's funny."

Arguably one of the best BBC comedy-dramas from the 1980s.

It broke my teenage heart to discover that that wasn't Emma Thompson's real accent.

"Are you aiming for the bullseye?"

Catching up again (part 26)

73/50

"Yeah, 'course I am, it's the best thing on the board!"

Catching up again (part 25)

72/50

"No, it isn't."

Catching up again (part 24)

71/50

"Mark, just look at it. It's tiny, it's red, it's right in the bloody middle. 'Course it's the best thing on the board!"

Catching up again (part 23)

70/50

"Frosties are just Cornflakes for people who can't face reality."

Catching up again (part 22)

69/50

"Crunchy Nut Cornflakes are just Frosties for wankers."

Catching up again (part 21)

68/50

"(How can Mark be in love with Big Suze? It's like Swaziland trying to invade China - it's a bloody political joke.)"

Catching up again (part 20)

67/50

Iconic

Back (Left to right.)
Emlyn Hughes, Tommy Smith, Ian Callaghan, Terry McDermott, Phil Thompson.

Front and Centre.
Bob Paisley.

"People like Coldplay and voting for the Nazis. You can't trust people, Jeremy."

Catching up again (part 19)

66/50

"I suppose doing things you hate is just the price you pay to avoid loneliness."

Catching up again (part 18)

65/50

"You're still living in your Hitchhiker's Guide world where you wander around in your dressing gown and have a nice cup of tea."

Catching up again (part 17)

64/50

"You've got to toughen up. This is the 21st century. You've seen 'Mad Max', haven't you? That's what's going to happen!"

Catching up again (part 16)

63/50